It’s 3:17 am and I am yearning for peace. I’ve just written the dark things down and now my heart is tired, but my hands want something to do. They’ve lit my candles and clicked my Scentsy on and somehow managed to realize, before my brain, that I want to color. So I grabbed GG’s Writing The Layers workbook, and colored a ring of orange through a flower before I felt the urge to write. It’s 3:19 am and my mind wants to relive GG’s writing and self-discovery workshop.
She could see me. Without ever having met me, she could see me through a few seemingly empty words. She named my frustrations one by one. Where I spoke of traffic, Gram, and running out of things to say, she saw my frustration with time and the things I can’t control. Her name was Kelly and she was my partner for the first exercise at GG Renee’s All The Many Layers Writing and Self Discovery workshop.
I’ve had Writing the Layers since November, and while I can’t say I haven’t touched it since, I can honestly say I haven’t really let it touch me until last Saturday. There was something about being in a room with other women on a similar mission as me that made me dive a little deeper in the exercises. Somehow I was okay with expressing to a stranger that she had my Gram’s smile and eyes.
I had a peaceful time. My spirit was quiet enough to observe the ongoing spat between my heart and mind. Whatever desires my heart expressed, my mind was not far behind. (Page 19 in your workbooks if you’re following along.)
Heart: My God do I want to love him. All of him, openly, unabashedly.
Mind: Want all you want, but you cannot trust him. He will hurt you.
Heart: Friendship means allowing people to catch you when you fall.
Mind: You cannot, under any circumstances, let anyone see you fall.
Heart: Creative life of service and purpose.
Mind: Bills, Bills, Bills.
Heart: Forgive, always forgive.
Mind: But don’t you ever forget.
About halfway through the workshop, GG started raining. The lined that I believe watered us most was the quote “brave, messy life” (more on mine in this Sunday’s B-side!).
I enjoyed having other women connect the dots for me. So many people spoke the things I was afraid to say and even more colored in the spaces I’ve been afraid to see.
I was humored by the number of women who brought notebooks of their own to the workshop compared with the number of women who claimed they weren’t really writers. I was comforted by Raven’s confession that she was a (fellow) cancer and therefore, apt to cry. And I swear to you the woman across from me had my Gram’s eyes.
All in all, I’d do this workshop again and again. Not just because I love to see a fellow creative (and introverted) soulmate doing her thing, but also because I’ve actually sparked a new way of thinking and a few new ideas, as is evidenced in my notebook. Love to GG and Writing The Layers!
I read this through a few times to let it sink in and to think about my favorite parts. I will probably read this many more times but for now I will say thank you so much for coming, being open and for taking so much away. It means the world to hear this from you, a woman and writer I respect so much, that you valued this experience the way you did. Thank you Roconia. xo