I am always depressed on New Year’s Eve. I don’t know why, and I hate it. I wish I could say I feel a simple sadness, but it’s more like that drowning-in-despair, every-breath-is-labor, I-literally-see-no-reason-to-live type of sadness. If I know anything about this brand of depression, it’s that it always fades. It may hit me like a Hawaiian wave, but I know that if I hold tight, I’ll be fine again.
NYE has come around once more and this year I have no plans to speak of. All of my friends are either far away or busy. I say “all” because it makes me feel like I have more than 2 friends. My sister is sick, which doesn’t mean that she’s not fun. I just would rather not share in the sickness. I went to Walmart tonight, ready to give in to my despair and be a Sad Lil Somethin’™ again. I came out with a game plan.
This year I have opted to throw myself a Stayin’ In, Stayin’ Alive NYE Party for uno. We don’t succumb to holiday depression. Not this year. I honestly didn’t feel the magic until I got home and unpacked my goods. Without wine or weed, I have managed to instantly lift my mood. Below are my essentials for my 2019 party for one.
Anyway, my essentials.
- Junk Food – Tonight I bought enough junk food to feed a sad little army. Ice cream, popcorn, gushers, pizza bagels. It’s truly disgusting. But, like everyone else, I have vowed to eat healthy in January (which, of course, starts the first Monday of January) so, for now, I must binge. I’ll be tired of this mess by tomorrow.
- Books – There are two kinds of books in my house: ones I love, and ones I bought because a blogger/ influencer told me to. As I grow into myself, I’ve been shedding the things that don’t quite fit. That means clothes, shoes, high school memorableia, and most beloved, books. Here’s the method: I take a book I know I’m not in love with and read a chapter or two. If it doesn’t move me, make me laugh, or make me want to know more, it’s gone. This combines two of my favorite things: reading and tidying my space. So far, I’m down two books. I’m also doing a little bonus reading using two of my favorite books from my bestie: The Little Book of Answers by Doug Lennox and Grammar Girl’s 101 Misused Words You’ll Never Confuse Again (cause I’m a freak like that).
- Jim-Jams – Right now I’m wearing a comfy tee from a beach trip I took with my bestie, but later I intend to slip into the most perfect flannel pajamas by Munki Munki (found at your local Kohl’s and Costco) gifted to me by my brother and sister in-law. My room has been chilled to the perfect temperature for flannel and my body is ready!
- A New Puzzle – I’m weird about my puzzles. If I don’t like the scene, I don’t want to put it together. If it doesn’t evoke any raw emotion, I don’t want to spend time with it. Walmart’s pickins were slim, but I ended up with a decent 500 piece puzzle entitled “A Mother’s Love,” depicting a lion cub seemingly waking its mommy with a kiss.
- Big Magic – I’ve listened to this book by Elizabeth Gilbert twice. It always makes me feel rejuvenated and goes hand in hand with my puzzle. I like to think I’m inviting and cultivating magic while trying to put the pieces together. Gab once told me that she listens to this book every January. I figure I’ll give a January listen a whirl.
These are my essentials. Or, at least, what I deemed to be my essentials for this year. I hope this works. How are y’all bustin’ through the new decade (which may or may not begin on Wednesday)?
Happy New Year.