Where the hell is God right now?
The thought ballooned in my mind as I rode home last night.
Where is He? Yes, He woke me up this morning. Yes, I’m healthy with all most of my eyesight and all of my limbs. But where is He now?
Where is He when I ride over the 14th street bridge and fantasize about diving into the Potomac? Where is He on those nights when I come home, fill my cup with ZzzQuil, and go straight to bed because I’d rather silence my stomach with sleep than stay up and cook, trying battle my inner bully. Where is God when I consider doing something drastic? Where is He on the mornings when I wake up and I wish I hadn’t? Is He such a sick puppet master that He’d smile and drag me through lesson after lesson to make me stronger? Am I even allowed to think such things?
The portrait of this Christian woman is an intricate one. I’m no cyborg just-a- praisin’ through our circumstance. The same feet that followed Christ three years ago still tiptoe the fine line between getting through because of God and going through because of God. The same eyes that close in reverent in prayer pierce the sky with anger while the praising mouth shouts God why would you make me this way!?
Where are You right now?
The thought distended in my mind as I marched to my room last night. I shed everything but my thoughts and climbed into bed just before 7:45. I was ready to shut out the world for a week when the icon on my Macbook bounced, catching the last ounce of my attention. iMovie. I had a video to finish editing, and it was right on time.
I spent the evening editing this video. Where is He right now? Here.
I’ve edited, I’ve written. By the time this is posted I may have even eaten dinner. This is me giving You something to work with.
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