I always knew I had a special voice and that it wasn’t meant for singing. As a little girl, I often stood in the bathroom mirror, delivering reverent speeches to the masses with my hairbrush microphone, knowing I should have been detangling. At the end of my speech, I would lower my “mic” and connect with my “audience.” The Mane ‘n Tail shampoo and conditioner would start a slow clap. Blue Magic hair grease would join in, too. And every Johnson & Johnson product raised a fist in the air, chanting my name (and pronouncing it correctly) “Roconia! Roconia!” The bow-bows1 and barrettes cheered in unison.
“More!” said the comb.
“Encore!” said the Colgate.
“You better be taking that hair out!” said my mom.
My time in the mirror was never about what I wanted to be, but who I wanted to become. When I gazed into the glass, my future looking back at me, I didn’t see a star, a Brandy or a T-Boz or Chili (sometimes I saw Left-Eye and Lauryn, though). I saw a woman who was powerful and proud, a woman who was loving and inspiring, a giver. I saw a woman with a voice.
“Finding your voice” is a tired phrase, bruised from being tossed around the blogosphere and the writing world time and time again. We often turn “finding your voice” into a necessary first step in writing, i.e. “first, you must find your voice.” So, we start the search to find what fits, trying on the styles of our favorite writers and bloggers. It’s like trying on clothes in attempt to be naked. The words of your favorites may inspire you, but you won’t find your voice on someone else’s blog.
Our voices aren’t hiding. They are not lost and they don’t need to be found.
Our voices are the eternal embers at our cores. Sometimes they need to be excavated and dusted off, but they have always been at the center of our beings, and there they will always be.
I don’t believe in “finding” your voice. I believe in knowing your voice. I believe in unearthing and cultivating your voice. I believe in embodying your voice. Rather than being something to find, your voice is something to become. It’s what you’ve always known and what your heart has always fluttered for. It’s what you cant stop thinking about, what you can’t stop feeling about, what you can’t stop screaming about. That’s your voice.
There aren’t too many things that I can be sure of in this life. Spoiler alert: life is uncertain. It’s up & down and in and out over and under. But during the trials, between silence and screams, I know one thing for certain: my voice is unwavering. I know my voice. I know that she will grace many hearts and minds, (and hopefully not too many ears). And when trends and logic fail to formulate words for me, I let her speak.
1Bow-bow ˈbō-bō (n.) a hair accessory for which no one knows the proper name. A device used to hols hair in place and/ or to inflict pain. An elastic hair tie with one plastic ball on each end. Also knows as bobblis, bubbles, baubles, and knuckle bruisers.
P.S. Bonus points for anyone who can tell me the correct name for bow-bows.
I LOVE THIS! “Encore!” said the Colgate. – YES! You’re everything from your demeanor and writing style is beyond beautiful and super fun to interact with. So glad I stopped by! I agree with not finding your voice – you can’t “find” something that’s already a major part of you. Knowing your voice is surely the correct way to put it and I appreciate you for sharing that.
XO NEOSHAGEE/ http://www.itsratedngee.com
Your* lol 🙂
Thank you Neosha! Readers like you make incorporating the interaction fun and so worthwhile! I appreciate you.
Beautiful words, beautiful message.
Thank you, Kristen. Your comment has warmed my heart. 🙂
“bow-bows” huh. Mmmm, I’m gonna add what we called them where I am from, “knockers”. If you’re like “huh, what?” lol I understand. I get lost in your writing girl. Sometimes it takes seeing someone else do their thing to remind you stick with what’s yours. I LOVE talking in the mirror.
Knockers? Never heard of such! But, thank you! I appreciate you comment and encourage you to PLEASE keep doing your thing!! You are hilarious AND can bring a good word all at once. That’s rare, believe me!
I love everything about this post. I love your perspective on “knowing” your voice rather than “finding” it because Lord knows i have been searching in all the wrong places. But you are so right, our voices have always been there, we just have to yank them out and listen. I was just rifling through your blog and this post came right on time. Its time for me to stop looking for my voice and start using what I already have.
🙂 Thank You, Edna! I’m so glad you found it helpful. I love love love it when people finally start using the powerful tool that is their OWN (pre-installed) voice! Can’t wait to see what comes through ya!
You are such an epic writer. While I’ve never heard your speak in person, I can feel your voice in my soul. You have a gift. When’s the book coming out?
Thank you so much. This has to be one of my favorite comments. And actually… I’m working on it. But shh! No rushing this process.