Birds of a feather flock together. Iron sharpens iron. You are the crème de la crème and so is everyone in your circle. Naturally, with you and your crew being so good at what you do, you’re bound to be pitted against each other. Here’s an easy guide step-by-step of what to do when that day comes.
Step 1: Bring it up. Elephants are large, loud, smelly. Don’t let one occupy the space between you and your friend. If you find yourselves in competition of any kind, talk about it. Not just when the race begins, but all throughout. Invite her to call you out if she feels offended in any way. Promise to do the same.
Step 2: Lock it down. Before takeoff, you always make sure you’re tightly secure, whether you’re on board a plane, a race car, or a roller coaster. Do the same with your friendships. Let them know that no matter what happens, your friendship is valued and the only way you’ll allow competition to change it is by making it stronger. Let her know that if she’s gonna be Viola and take home the win, you’re Taraji all day. Say it. Mean it.
Step 3: Finish the fight you started. This is the ultimate secret to any situation in which you compete with someone you love: you never, ever actually campaign against your friends. You didn’t set your heart on this goal with her in mind. You started to be the top regional chef, to get that scholarship, to become your best self, to attain a new goal for you. You went in considering what you stood for (your blog, your brand, your promotion, your title). That’s the fight you started. Don’t get caught up in who you stand against (your friend, your sister, your co-worker, your supervisor). It’s not about them. You never campaign against them. You always campaign for you.
The only way to campaign against a friend– the only way to come out of this mess alive– is with a little grace. You root for yourself and graciously salute when she roots for herself, too. You communicate until you’re cobalt in the face bringing it up and locking it down. You remember why you began and you finish the fight you started. Homegirl (or boy) who doesn’t share this basic understanding with you belongs in your competition pit, not in your inner circle.
That being said, it’s announcement time! Ever So Roco has been nominated for three Black Weblog Awards!
The Black Weblog Awards was founded in 2005 to acknowledge black excellence in the online world. Winners of the Black Weblog Awards are recognized at the annual Blogging While Brown Conference.
This is how it works: All blogs that are nominated will appear on the ballot for the first round of voting (which starts tomorrow, October 13! at blackweblogawards.com) First round voting ends October 20 and finals voting opens November 10- November 17. Winners are announced on December 1.
The 2015 winners will be honored during a ceremony at the 2016 Blogging While Brown Conference in Washington, DC July 15-17th (my area /my birthday weekend! Kismet or nah?)
What I need from you: go to blackweblogawards.com tomorrow and all throughout the week and vote vote vote! I’m up for best personal blog, best writing in a blog, and best new blog.
Can we bring one home for mama? I’d love you forever & ever!
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